Company Donate Contact

You are here : Cancer Blogs > denita's Profile > denita's Cancer Blog

Vitals

Name:
Denita (denita)

Member Since:
October 12, 2008

Location:
Littleton, Colorado

Birthday:
March 28, 1964

Type of Cancer:
Lung and Bronchus Cancer

Diagnosis Date:
February 15, 2008

Stage of Cancer:
Stage 4

Tumor Size:
over 6.1

Lymph Node Involvement:
Yes

Surgery:
Reconstructive Surgery, Lymph Node Removal, Pneumonectomy

Radiation:
Yes

Chemotherapy:
Taxol (chemical name: paclitaxel)

Profile:
Cancer Survivor

What I Hate Most About Cancer:
Not only it's assault your spirit, but on those that love you.

What I Have Learned From Cancer:
Today's paramount.

Things My Supporters Can Do To Help:
Hold on loosely, but don't let go. TRY to be normal!

Alternative Cancer Treatment:
No sugar, I drink Bazi, Mon Evi,lots of fresh veggies

Cancer Drugs Positives & Negatives:
Carbo-taxol avastin "ok" results.

Cancer Symptoms:

9 yrs ago, voice loss,fatigue,thirst,stomach pain, ear pain,low grade fever. Jan/08-shoulder pain,fatigue.Low grade fever.

Surgery Description, Dates & Side Effects:

9 yrs ago-ipsilateral thyroidectomy, radical neck dissection, 2 thyroplasties. Jun-08-pnuemonectomy w/ part of my pericardium and diaphram removed. OUCH

Radiation Description, Dates & Side Effects:

15 days of 30 treatments. Extreme nausea-vomiting ribs and back hurt from A:cancer B:radiation C:surgery D: all above

Chemotherapy Description, Dates & Side Effects:

Feb 08-Cisplatin/Etoposide- hideous vomiting diarreah Switched chemo drugs AND Hospital -April08-carbo/taxol/avastin. Tolerated well. Neulasta. Bone pain

denita's Cancer Blog

October 16, 2008

Thank You! Views: 347

Hey, thanks for your support! I have not been feeling well these days. Radiation is making feel sick and tired : ^ (
I want to clear up some misunderstanding. I have told my children but at first I did not share the prognosis. How could I? I did try to hide my bald head from my 6 yr old. She kinda of played along for awhile, she kept flipping my curl on my wig (ugh)and saying “pretty hair”. and one day I got out of the shower with a shower cap on cuz bein bald gives you chill and she says “Mom, you look bald with that cap on” I pulled it off and and said ” humph, I am” I told her it was the medicine that they gave me. after that she would lift up every bottle of medicine and say “is this the one that did it?” They know I am sick but they don’t know how gravely. I decided that the time we have have left is not going to be spent worrying. I have tried to act as normal as I can but the with surgery and everything it’s been quite a challenge. I have had a talk with my two boys about my marital plans after I finish treatment at the end of the month. I told them how unhappy I am in this marraige and that I feel that if I don’t divorce him, I will come back as an angry poltergiest! I am looking for peace. I was given a 2 mo prog. in Feb. I have gone 6 mo beyond. A divorce is really something for me to look forward to. 11 more treatments to go. I’ll have Nov and Dec to recover. I will get a PET scan in Dec or Jan. My ONC said that I will need more chemo in a few months. I had a plural effusion up to my collar bone that completely collapsed my lung. That fluid was malignant and not great for my chances of having it spread cancer throughout my body. Cancer is so tricky and Dr’s don’t have all the answers. For me, cancer is a control issue. I realized I have no control over the disease, only over my behavior. I probably live in denial that I am going to die. One day right after my recent diagnosis, I was in bed crying trying to imagine my death bed w/ everyone standing around and then BOOM it hit me I kicked the blankets off and hopped out of bed said outloud “F—K! this s—-t! I ain’t dyin! I won’t, I can’t! C’mon God... I know that if I do succumb to this I will go kicking and screaming The grace that I read in some all of these blogs touches me. Especially those of you who have accepted it. I accept the cancer and all thats happened. I do not accept the prognosis! Prayers, Blessings and HOPE -Denita

Posted on October 16, 2008 at 2:21:31 PM by Denita ( Link to this post.

Thank You!, Post a comment.

4 comments)

There is an amazing amount of support here.

I have three kids 20, 17, 14 and I really struggled with what to tell them and when. Since my initial diagnosis they have been very vocal about their right to know. I have to say, looking back I think telling kids the truth in age appropriate terms is best.

As for inept spouses, I am in the blessed. My wife is amazing. That being said I do understand wanting to be happy with whatever time you have left. There are a growing number of people I refuse to drag along, as I walk this path. unless you are walking with me I don’t have the energy to tote you. Many of the folks here have learned the importance of choosing the people they associate with. You need to take control and dictate some of your own boundries. At first some folks may be put off but they will get over it or get lost.

Be strong and well
Mac

Posted on October 16, 2008 at 6:18:54 PM by rigidridr

Denita,

One of the gifts of cancer is that you decide to live your life for yourself. I hope you feel well enough to move forward with your children in what will eventually be your new life. Do not give up to cancer – I know that is so easy to say and so god damn hard to do. I will be thinking of you and wishing you well.

Posted on October 17, 2008 at 5:49:28 AM by indiogrl

Dear Denita,

I love the idea of your deciding to be living instead of dying! That’s so inspiring. I agree with the other commenters that cancer does clarify who we really want and need in our lives. I hope you are able to find peace with your family relationships, however that comes.

Take care and keep kicking and screaming. You have no obligation to accept any prognosis. Write your own!

Peace,
Kathy

Posted on October 17, 2008 at 12:45:08 PM by curlygirl

Dear Denita,

Thank you for the honesty of your post; I’m sure there are a lot of people who feel the same way you do. How disappointing when a spouse cannot or will not provide the basics of care. I hope that your children will be able to help you, if they’re old enough to understand the dynamics of marriage they are old enough to understand many other things.

I don’t know if this will help you, but another post on this blog mentioned a treatment called tomorgraphy which had helped with her lung mets. I don’t know anything about it (I have breast cancer) but it may be worth finding out more information.

I’ll be thinking of you.

RJMom aka Kerry

Posted on November 4, 2008 at 10:28:05 AM by RJMom (unverified)

October 12, 2008

One messed up chick! Views: 378

I stumbled upon this blog and have spent the past couple of hours sobbing at all the stories. I really did need a good cry. I have spent so much energy being stoic, as to not let on to anyone around me the big trouble I am in. You see, it’s the cruelty of having cancer and children that have yet to be raised. I have almost a decade in between each of my three children and basically they have different degrees of understanding. Of course my 24yr old Nick understands cancer but he doesn’t know the “details”. Cooper 15, read the Lance Armstrong book and reccomended it to me : ). Miranda 6, thinks cancer is a “bald” thing. Although, she must have mentioned it to someone who told her that “some people live and some people die”. Every now and then she’ll ask just to see if it’s still true. My husband is stressed.I know…. but he (like 9 yrs ago) is off in la la land. He avoids me. I really need to get away from him. I am very angry at him. I WILL divorce him, even if it’s on my death bed! I feel guilty for venting like this but hey, it is a cancerblog after all. I am still in a lot of pain from the surgery and the radiation seems to make it worse. I have severe nausea and fatigue. My friends have all seem to have been scared off. I do have a couple of “phone friends” and they help keep me focused on beating this. I try not think any other way-I just have to beat this.

Posted on October 12, 2008 at 6:13:38 PM by Denita ( Link to this post.

One messed up chick!, Post a comment.

4 comments)

Denita,
Maybe there is something that women with lung cancer have in common besides the diagnosis. I know you read my story. Yours has the similarity of wanting to divorce your husband. I feel so much the same way, daily! Please know that I have lived beyond my prognosis. I pray you do too. You need to raise those kids. Do you have family members that can help you? Friends can often be scared by the unknown, and by having to face their own mortality. Maybe if you invite your closet “friend(s)” over for tea and answer their concerns/questions, it might help. I found people don’t know what to do or how to do it. They need direction. They want to help but it seems like they are intruding on your privacy. Sometimes they need to be invited in. For independent mothers like you and I it can be extremely difficult to ask for help and admit to weakness. But now is not the time to be prideful. Is there a counseling center or social worker as part of your treatment? Mine helped me so much at the beginning. I am going back soon with my 19 year old daughter as I will need a caretaker as things progress. My husband is an idiot and can’t do anything under any circumstances. The thought of his caring for me when I am very ill, and being responsible for my medications terrifies me. So my daughter has offered to do it. I just want to make sure that it is fair of me to take that big chunk of her life to do something so intense. It may be just the thing she needs to always know she did this amazing thing for her mother. Tell your older kids exactly what is going on. Give them a chance to be a big part of helping their mom. You may be surprised where your support comes from. If your husband is a jerk your older kids will need to know how to do many things that involve caring for someone else to help raise your little one. My cousin’s dad died of cancer when she was 16 and her parents tried to spare the kids (6 of them!) the pain of it thinking they were to young to understand. The kids never forgave their parents for the horrible surprise of his death. He was suddenly gone, even though they knew he was ill and in the hospital. They still feel deceived and a painful lack of closure… 40 years later! Think about it.

Please chat with me anytime. There are some amazing people here. Find Mac, Joyce, and Weezie commenting on my posts. They are wonderful and have advice and support I couldn’t have made it without. I am with you. You have found a great place. Welcome to the family. Gaile

Posted on October 12, 2008 at 10:23:34 PM by gaile

Denita,
I hope you will find this site a place where you feel free to vent and get support. I do get a lot of support, love, and understanding here. Welcome.

Yuyu

Posted on October 12, 2008 at 10:25:25 PM by yuyu

Welcome to the family! And you already discovered that Gaile’s case is a lot like your’s so you already have support from someone who knows what you are going through.
I think we all find great empathy, concern and understanding through this blog——hope you do, too.
Hang in there.

Posted on October 13, 2008 at 3:07:47 PM by staypositive

Hi! Welcome! Share anything and everything that you please. I definitely recommend discussing this with your kids and keeping them involved and informed.

Posted on October 14, 2008 at 6:54:23 PM by littleprincess

Denita's Stats

Posts:	2
Photos:	0
Events:	0
My Supporters:	7
I Support:	4
Comments:	8
Views:	725